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[paperpusher]

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[nerine]

Maybe.

It's kind of clear to me now that I can't be as leisurely.

And that's what makes me concerned.

[paperpusher]

[There's a bit of a pause-- it's understandable, given what they all just went through-- before he asks]

For yourself or for others?

[nerine]

[As long as no one gets on her bad side, she can only hope it's fine, but doesn't type that out. But even after that, she remembers lashing out at just about anyone, spitting out twisted words that made the truth darker than it should be.]

Both. I guess.

Naotri, that ayakashi you have. Were you born with it?

I know for sure, I wasn't always like this.

[paperpusher]

As far as I know. I didn't meet any other humans who could see it until I was a teenager, but I don't remember a time when it wasn't there.

[He's not sure what would be worse, now. Maybe if his personality had had a chance to develop before-- but just as likely, maybe it would have only made him more resentful that much sooner. Because of that, it strikes him that it's likely a sore subject, but after a few seconds he adds on]

Did something in particular happen? When you got it.

[And whether she reads that as 'did something happen for you to get it' or 'did something happen after you got it,' he'll leave that up to her.]

[nerine]

From what I can recall, I was on the beach. I was in a cave exploring by myself as a kid.

[There's a delay as she combs through her memory, really, truly trying to remember the exact details. It's not strange to feel disconnected to recollections of one's younger self, but for her it's difficult in a different way, as if she wasn't quite present for what happened and started to become someone after that day.]

My older brother found me at the time because I had passed out and was laying there inside. I just remember there being some plants in there, some flowers, maybe? But he was the first to notice that I was marked. He and my dad thought it was just some bruise.

[paperpusher]

[He can't get a sense of how old she was-- the memories of a young child? Or was it vague because something about the incident stopped it from sticking out strongly in her mind? He can imagine any number of scenarios; any number of ways that she started to discover just what had changed. Any number of ways that could have ended badly for her and the people around her.]

Shortly before I came here, I realized how important it is to have help in carrying heavy things. With all the different types of people here, there has to be someone who can help you figure out the limits. Better to find out now than in another emergency, right?

[It sounds like a nonsequitur, but. There's no need to make her fill in the blanks when what mattered was moving forward.]

[nerine]

It's a good idea.

[As for her limits though, that's tricky especially considering the following events where she let the limiter off so to speak.]

I was never a combatant type-- shocking, I know -- but I am considered a danger where I'm from because no one knows what it is I have.

[That's according to Iona anyway. The witch, in a moment of seriousness, had let Monts know that anything of unknown and unearthly origins was extremely scrutinized by the higher magical forces. If nothing else, Monts was unofficially protected by working at the Midnight Grind where Iona and Oren could keep tabs on her.]

It's dumb to not want to be helped, but I don't know anyone that could help me. No one I'm comfortable with yet anyway.

That said, I appreciate that you're chatting about this with me.

Gracias.

[paperpusher]

Haha, I don't think it's that unusual to be hesitant about it. It's a big thing to be wrestling with. [And seriously, what sort of hypocrite would he be to encourage someone to confide their vulnerabilities in near-strangers?] Just that maybe you're less of a danger here than you might be used to, given everyone (and everything) else.

Though I was also never a combatant type, so even if I did meet your comfort level I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Shocking, I know.

[nerine]

Yes, let us not forget that it was I, a non-combatant, that tossed you onto a roof.

[paperpusher]

You weren't even the first person to throw me here, did you know that? I was "yeeted" into the ocean for no real reason other than because I could be. At least I asked you.

[nerine]

Oh no.

This isn't going to be a thing for you is it? I hope not...

[paperpusher]

If it is, I know who to blame! You're the one who made it a habit, after all.